Today, I'm The Fool On The Hill

I've hated on A-Rod a lot in my short lifetime, but one thing I always said in-between slanders is that at least he never juiced. In fact, I almost hated him more for that "fact". As many baseball fans out there, this story has been at the forefront of my mind much more than I would like it to be since it hit, continuing to blasphemize (is that even a word?) the beautiful game I grew up with (striking 1994 from the record, of course). What bothers me the most about this juicing scandal in particular, however, is that with a lot of the other ones I knew something was up (Exhibit A: The exponential growth of Barry Bonds' head over the years). Not with A-Rod. Yet, I should have seen this coming from a mile away, even with interviews like this:



No, it's not his numbers that should have tipped me off. It's something he did that was much more extraordinary that has always boggled my mind:



Whether the incident above was caused by 'roid rage, naivete, or gross negligence, for anyone who has ever tried to knock a ball out of a grown Major League Baseball player's glove can attest, that shit ain't easy, and we all should have known the moment that ball came flying out.

It's okay A-Rod; 2004 was also a loosey goosey era in baseball. Yes, little Roddy, so was 2007, which is why it's okay that you yelled at those poor and innocent Blue Jays when you tried to cheat them too. I'm glad you pointed out to everyone that you're guilty of being naive, which of course would lead any normal person down the path of steroid use, uncontrollable ball slapping, adultery, and not asking questions. I mean, the last thing I would do in a situation where I was ingesting a foreign substance is ask a question. That would just be a waste of time.

Feeling naive in Madison.

It's A Super Bowl Sundae...

Hey, and I thought the Arizona Cardinals were a fascinating story:

FAQs for this Historic Day

Q: How will former President, George W. Bush be remembered in the annals of time?

A: I can't answer this, but I tend to agree with the theory of my good friend Mongo who always says: "Bush, only pawn in game of greedy, narrow-minded, near-sighted, sick, and twisted surrounding politicians' and advisors' life." The only thing I should add, my dear Mongo, is that one must always remember that good ole' W. didn't have to surround himself with such Hedleys.

Q: Did we win the war?

A: Hahahahahahahahaha. I'm not even dignifying that with an answer.

Q: Is Tom Brokaw gay?

A: Nope. You should pay more attention to the real news. I did hear that Zimbabwe is taking over the world though. I hope they have their language in Rosetta Stone already. C'mon guys, I'm looking for a cabinet position here.

Q: Do you think Dr. King dreamed that this would happen one day?

A: You're damn right he did, and what a fan-fucking-tastic dream it was.

Q: Will we be able to help Obama save our economy and change the world for the better by employing as many acts of random kindness and buying as many DVDs, music books, non-music books, instruments, and memory cards as each of us can humanely afford?

A: Yes. Sure, I might be a posimist, but, well, you'll see. In time my friend, in time...

Q: Did we do it?

A: Yes, we did do it. Go us. America...Fuck Yeah!

The Inaugural Post

I begin my foray into the world of blogging speechless. It was Martin Luther King Jr. Day. It was the eve of an inauguration that the world has moved to the edge of their seat for. It has since become a day that will never be forgotten, and I spent it, well, watching the most fitting history lesson one could conjure up for such an occasion. The only thing that pains me about any of this, is that if I were to say the name of the man I watched tonight; the man I danced my face off too tonight; most of you would need to google that name to have any idea of who I'm talking about, and frankly that's sad. Here, let me save you the trouble:



Thank you to John Chernin for the clip. You see, to be a good drummer, Chernin, without saying this explicitly, understands that you need to study the greats, and who better to study than the most "sampled drummer of all time." "Bullshit" you say? Wikipedia "Funky Drummer," I dare you. "Okay," you say, "but still, not possible that the most sampled drummer of all time could play next door to you every Monday night, smiling from ear to ear for 3 hours as he and his band crank through Motown classic after Motown classic?" You should probably come with me next time and find out for yourself.

Humbled in Madison.